What Is Self Harm?

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The Indian Society in itself is a very conservative one, we as a whole have grown up in an environment which thinks depression is just a cry for attention and self harm is some unspeakable family secret that just cannot be addressed. That however does not stop more and more people, especially the youngsters from attempting it, getting addicted to it and then being unable to get any help for it. So let us first start by understanding what exactly is self harm.

Self harm is something that cannot very well be defined but most people would say it refers to voluntarily inflicting harm on your person. This may include cutting, burning, hitting or any other way to cause yourself pain. Now, as a rule, most people refer to the physically manifested injuries, however even mental pressures, putting yourself down, beating yourself up for the smallest of things, over-analyzing and over thinking can lead to mental harm and thus should also be encompassed in the broad definition of the word. 

For now, let us focus on the physical aspect of it. 

People often mistake self harm as a preliminary to suicide. However, studies have shown that it is not the case. Self harmers often hurt themselves to get rid of the pain, to deal with feelings that they dont want to express or maybe even just to feel something. Everyone has a different reason, and a different experience yet most often than not it points to some or the other kind of internal storm. Does it mean the person is crazy? definitely not, just someone who needs some support, a little bit of help and a lot of understanding.

Another huge myth surrounding self harm is that people just do it to gain attention. It leads us to question a simple fact - why is it that if they are seeking attention do they hide the scars? and not just shout out from the rooftops? The answer is simple, it is not an attention seeking attempt, rather just a way for them to deal with issues they cannot verbalize.

The third misconception is that only teenaged girls self harm. In a male dominated society where men are seen as the powerful heads of the houses and leaders of the world, well, this misconception could have been expected. Again, it is a far cry from the reality. Not only do boys self harm as well, but it is not just something that is confined to the teenagers. A lot of adults also self harm, they just hide it better than the younger people. Often, people start self harming around their teenage years and then continue on till their adulthood. There are also those who relapse into it after having been clean for a few years. A lot depends on their situation and mental health and how they choose to address and deal with their issues.

Now let us look at how to recognize self harm.

More often than not, self harmers would hurt themselves in places or spots that can be easily covered - this could mean the upper arms, thighs, abdomen and any such places. The fashion trends of the day allow them to artfully cover up the scars and hide them from the world. The simplest way to do this includes wearing clothes that cover up the spots. This means that they may wear full sleeved shirts even in the summer months or jeans instead of shorts when going out with their friends. 

A lot of the times they will also come up with excuses that seem to be a little thin if someone manages to see their scars, things like "My Cat/ Dog scratched me" or "I fell into the bushes" are common excuses.

Another way to recognize self harm scars can be that most often than not, these scars are usually symmetrical. often they run like parallel lines down the arm in case of cutters. Self harmers often become a but withdrawn and seem to lose interest in the activities that they previously used to enjoy.

Self harming can start from something as simple as peer pressure in school to curiosity about what it is after reading about it or seeing it depicted on TV or just hearing about someone who self harms.

If you or your loved ones are self harming or you suspect that they may be self harming, the very first thing to do is to not judge the person. Yes it is not a right thing to be doing but it is how they are dealing with things and rather than scorning them or putting them down for it, we need to just simply be there for them, support them, listen to them and remind them that they are not alone.

Self harm is a real issue in the modern society and we need to learn to address it  and accept it because only then can we overcome it.