The Recovery

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Overcoming the Self harm- what does that mean?. Is it said to be accomplished when you stop cutting? Or is it when you can follow all the positive coping mechanisms in the book and smile through the day?. The answer - It is much more and much bigger than either of these because in order to overcome the self harm - stopping the physical aspect of it is only the beginning.

Self harm for a lot of people, is a way to release the pressure, to dull the emotional pain, to get over the numbness and actually feel something - even if it is for a short time. However, they do not understand just how short that relief is till it is too late.

Once you stop hurting yourself physically, the next thing is dealing with the urge to do it again. Most days if not all, there will be that little voice inside your head, that will urge you to give in, to give up. But you have to trust in yourself, believe in your strength, and most importantly, love yourself enough to silence it. It will take days, months, years even... and there will be days when you would feel like you wont make it through the day without it...at times like those, just think of all the hard work you have put into getting to that point. And try to follow some calming techniques - eg, the 5 thing game.

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The game is simple enough, any time you feel like giving in, close your eyes, take a deep breath and then look around yourself. Name 5 things that you can see in the room. Breathe deeply. Name 4 things you can touch that are there in the room. Breathe deeply again. Name 3 things you can hear. Focus on your breathing. Name 2 things you can smell. Relax and empty your mind, or go to your happy place. And then finally, name one thing that you love about yourself, or that is something positive about you. 

 

You can also try and use other relaxation techniques like reading, journaling, working out, drawing, playing music etc... you can even try coping mechanisms like the butterfly project. In that moment, you have to understand that you are loved, you are important and that you are stronger than the self harm.

The next stage is to be able to deal with the scars. While self harming, people often do not focus on what will happen next- well that unfortunately stands true for a lot of our actions in life. And a lot of the times, if not all, the self harm ends up leaving real scars. Hiding them, fearing discovery, being ashamed of them and feeling guilty about them are all emotions you might experience every time you see yourself in the mirror or see your scars. You may also end up getting angry at yourself for causing them in the first place. Its okay, these feelings will come and go, however, unless and until you are able to afford some sort of treatment for those scars, you have to accept them. Accept them and wear them as tokens of your hard struggles. As a reminder to be strong and not curse them, rather try to focus on the positives- the fact that you got over it, the fact that you are strong, loved and extremely important to someone, somewhere. They will fade over time and you will soon get used to or get over them. This is not to force you all to show your scars- that is a personal preference and the decision remains in your hands, however, learning to accept them, and moving on, may be a pivotal point in your recovery. 

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Lastly, surround yourself with positivity-  positive people, things you like to do etc. and try to minimalize the negative influences as much as possible. You cannot love somebody or something else unless you first learn to love yourself. The final stage is the most important otherwise, often the negative thoughts end up turning into some other issues and could cause to fall further into a dark place. Eg, someone with depression, after self harming may end up developing a body and personality complex which could lead to low self esteem or in some very unfortunate yet serious cases into other sorts of illnesses like anorexia etc. So in the light of this, making sure that you take care of yourself having someone with you who could be your rock and comfort may help to finally get over the self harm.

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, and any and every bad experience, bad urge that you overcome, makes you a little bit more stronger and enhances the beauty and strength within.

Do you agree or disagree with what we have mentioned? Are there any other steps or situations that arise? Let us know in the comments section below.

You are loved, you are beautiful, you are strong! This too shall pass...