Why do people self harm? : Understanding the triggers

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Tears in her eyes as she looked at her daughters arms and legs... unable to believe or understand the scars....yet there they were, under her fingertips, standing out white against the unblemished skin...some healed, some raised and some even now... in the different stages of healing...."What could have been so bad for you to resort to.... this???" she asked in a shaking voice, her disbelief and anger evident in how the tone of the question turned accusatory towards the end. How could she, she wondered.... How dare she do this to herself. Didn't they give her the best of all worlds? Wasn't her life happy? Didn't she know how much she was loved? Just what triggered her to do this?


This was the reaction of a mother who by mistake walked into her daughter's room as she was changing, the long sleeved shirts and full pants which she had thought were a passing fad were off leaving the scars they hid exposed to her eyes. 


Unfortunately it is nearly impossible for someone on the outside looking in to understand the WHY. Even worse is when the harm appears to be indicative of suicide (though in most cases its not). No matter what the self harmer might say, they cannot accept just what could have provoked them to take that step. So today, let us look at some of the most common reasons or triggers of why a person self harms.


Before we begin, the first thing we need to clarify is THERE IS NOT A TYPE. No category of people who fit into the box of self harmers. Anyone can be self harming, and most often than not you probably wont even realize it. It could be your best friend from school, the new guy in the building, your boss or even one of your closest friends or family. There is no set of rules that we can apply to confirm or even predict whether a person is hurting themselves or not.


Let us now look at some of the triggers which could put someone at a higher risk of self harming.

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👉Most often than not, depression or severe anxiety are pre cursors to self harm. Mental illnesses of any kind are really traumatic for the person going through them and if help is not provided at the right time, then people can turn to negative coping mechanisms, self harm being one of them.

👉Some painful experiences, traumatic childhoods, physical, mental or even sexual abuse can act as triggers. Even situations like a messy divorce between the parents or partners themselves could trigger people into self harming again.

👉Severe stress and anxiety. It is often said that cutting or self injury of any type sort of acts as release of pressure. It allows them to take their minds off the situation, the pain grounds them and  gives them something else to focus on. The stress can be work related, exam stress or even anxiety that is caused by bullying or teasing by others.

👉To feel "something" when you are otherwise numb. This feeling of numbness or emotional detachedness is called as dissociation. It helps people deal with their traumas and intense situations. However, it also gets very frustrating very soon and thus they turn to self harm, the physical pain is something that they can "feel".

👉Low self esteem and a need to punish oneself for perceived "crimes". Feelings of shame, guilt and disgust can lead one to believe that they deserve the pain and the hurt.

👉 To get that euphoric high. Self harm , especially cutting , releases endorphins which gives you the feeling of being "high". Another trigger can be seeing already present cuts which prompts the person to make another one.

👉Drug and alcohol abuse form another reason that could push a person towards self harming.

👉Lastly, although self harm is not typically related to suicide, in some cases, suicidal thoughts can also lead a person to self harm.


This is by no means an exhaustive list, however, it covers some of the most often seen reasons. If you or someone whom you know is self harming, it is helpful to remove any such triggers and diffuse intense situations or move away from them. 

Apart from this, as always, lots of support, understanding and a cauldron full of love is the recipe of recovering from self harm. 



Some useful links: 

Six Reasons Why People Self-Injure (mentalhelp.net)

The truth about self-harm | Mental Health Foundation

Why Do People Cut Themselves? Reasons, What to Do, and More (healthline.com)


Cheers and Good Health to All!


For any queries or assistance, leave us your comments in the comments section below. We would also love to  hear if  you have any suggestions for topics for the following posts. 

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